Getting Drunk in First Class

When most people here the words “Booze Cruise” images of spring break seem to come back, but when you say it to a consultant, images of getting upgaded to first class on the way back from the client site probably come to mind.
Ah yes, the booze cruise. There’s nothing quite like it. You’re done working [...]

That’s right, I’ll come into your fucking boardroom on my high horse with my god-damned spurs and give you some strategy! Straight in your fucking throat!
To be a true dickhead consultant, you have to be a strategy consultant. This pertains to all things about a business and how it should ’strategically’ align itself with the [...]

On many an engagement, you will find your typical, total dickhead partner or principal who hands off project management duties to one or more senior managers (and this is what should happen) but the dickhead partner or principal (or the senior manager) doesn’t do a good job of keeping open enough communication about status of [...]

When I arrived at my client, I chose to sit down in an empty cube away from everybody where I wouldn’t get bothered. Unfortunately, some blonde hair guy chose to sit in the cube right next to me. The worse part? I have to listen to his lisp and femine voice.
Before anybody attacks Getting Drunk [...]

I had the great pleasure of being staffed in a warm locale and enjoyed spending many a weekend alternative traveling to virtual paradises. On occasion, fellow colleagues and I would spend our weekends jaunting to places I had never been. On one such weekend, we flew to an island utopia, two of us regulars - [...]

If you can’t get enough of our bullshit you’re in luck; you have the capability to create your own bullshit and run it through our bullshit generator. That’s right, there’s now an official data format for bullshit, and our Web 2.0 application can understand your mashed-up bullshit.
BSML
BSML - (pronounced biz-mal) BullShit Markup Language. A language [...]

As is almost self-evident by now, it is clear that I am the biggest dickhead on this blog (I mean, really, the name says it all). So, after flying home the other night, I of course was in first class being a dickhead (as usual). As expected, I was getting quite tossed in my cushy [...]

We’ve all seen ‘em, but not quite on this scale. Getting Drunk in First Classhas created for you, during client time of course, the Bull Shit generator. This will help all of you become better writers in your proposals, emails, and powerpoint decks. So improve you writing skills today by going to the Getting [...]

Sure, there are a hell of a lot of bullshit generators out there; but nothing compares to the brand spankin’ new Getting Drunk in First Class Web 2.0, AJAX, BSML-enabled, mashable bullshit generator! Just in case our bullshit isn’t enough, now you can plug-in your own bullshit into our generator by creating a BullshitML (BSML) [...]

This is like the Massey pre-nup of design; There’s no way you’re gettin’ out of it - Have you seen Intolerable Cruelty the sexy Zeta-Jones (yes, T-Mobile girl)? Well, the Massey pre-nup was a supposedly rock-solidly written pre-nuptial agreement talked about in the movie. This phrase basically means you’re stuck with something for good, there [...]