Getting Drunk in First Class

CILF (Consultant I’d Like To Fuck) - This is a an attractive consultant that you would like to have sex with.
TD (Total Dick) - The ideal management consultant. One that wears top-notch dress clothes, flies first class, rents the nicest cars from Hertz, and racks up at least $5,000 a week in expenses.
VBIT (Vacation Bound [...]

If there’s one sure thing about consultants, its our love for acronyms and stupid phrases. Getting Drunk in First Class has enough phrases and acronyms to make your head spin for years. If that’s not enough for you, we even built a bullshit generator.
Acronyms
Over the years as a consultant we’ve amassed an extremely large amount [...]

We seem them every day; whether its watching them walk past our cubes or making copies. As a consultant, they typically exist in two forms.

CILF (Client I’d Like to Fuck) - This is the typical hot client that you see walking around every day that makes you love and hate your job at the same [...]

One of the most puzzling questions that has baffled mankind since the beginning of time is:
What do fat chicks and extremely large organizations have in common?
Today is your lucky day; it turns out they have a lot in common. But first, to effectively answer this question, we need to discuss the common misconception of how [...]

So, clearly the ‘international engagement’ is the most sought after with young, still-drooling, twenty-something consultants, such as myself, The highly Regarded Total Dickhead.
Something about being in another country, bouncing to and fro every few weeks flying first class (and getting drunk, naturally) and consulting with foreign entities on how to run their business when you [...]

“You moved my bag”, the You Kicked My Dog of airline travel.
Why must fellow flyers be so adverse to you moving their rollerboard bags about 6 inches to the left in order to fit yours nicely in the overhead stow?
Colleagues of mine and I are generally on the same flight home every week. The [...]

Few trips are as audacious as international alternative travel, or “alternational travel”. Witness, two days in London, part one.
It all starts with good timing: spotting the sale fare and padding the weekend with one vacation day. Pack light; nothing screams importance like minimal luggage. Find the empty row on your red-eye and [...]