Getting Drunk in First Class

Even though GDiFC primarily documents the wanton abuse of airline frequent flier programs and the semi-retarded enterprises that shell out thousands of dollars a week to fly out fresh college grads to analyze their own business processes, there are other places one can get drunk in style while moving at incredibly ridiculous high speeds. [...]

To be the true TD (total dickhead) you always wanted to be, you have to act the part but also dress the part.

Above, we have a TD consultant in full, out-rigged attire. TD consultants typically use this fashionable appearance when they need to dupe the most sophisticated (and richest) clients: The Bankers. This includes the [...]

So you get stuck in first class on a regional flight that lasts 40 minutes and what do you get? A fucking bag of snack mix. What else are they suppose to throw at you? How about a warm cookie or cold piece of cheese cake? No! I want a god damn bag of snack [...]

Put yourself in the shoes of a senior manager that led a project that I was recently on. You’re a high flier in the company, your claim to fame being that you were promoted twice in one year. The partners and directors leading the project are taking a back seat, allowing you to be the [...]

A consultant’s worst nightmare - canceling their first class ticket to some exotic babe-filled tropical location to drudge away the weekend getting that unmistakable CRT-screen tan. Luckily, your friends at GDiFC have come up with a plan to make the most of your unexpected weekend away from home:

Train your mind and your company’s corporate [...]

Here is your typical after-work exchange between your 3-piecer and his client.
Consultant: You want answers?
Client: I think I’m entitled to them.
Consultant: You want answers?
Client: I want the truth!
Consultant: You can’t handle the truth! Sir, we live in a world that has problems. And those problems have to be solved by consultants. Who’s gonna do it? [...]

A common piece of work on any consulting engagement for large organizations involves process flows and mock-ups. This really, really fun activity gets you in the thick of a business process and allows you to talk in as-is and to-be perspectives almost to the point to sound as if you, as a consultant, actually know [...]