Has this topic been covered to death by my co-conspirators? Yes, but that’s not going to stop me from posting about it all the while charging the client $300/hr. for my services to do so. It’s Friday what the fuck else am I going to do, happy hour doesn’t start for another 4hrs. As a Consultant I’ve been working toward my TD status for just over 3 years now. And anytime I need to remind myself how much less important other people are I think back to something one of the kids in my start group said one Monday morning on our way into the second busiest airport in the world: “Dude, we’re like, professional travelers. We get to the airport 35 minutes before our flight takes off, and we get pissed when other people are in the way.” And that was only a month or so into my TD Status accrual. Fuckin’ right, I am a professional Traveler, so all of you Amateur Traveler’s better recognize and happily get out of my way.
- Stop trying to get into the Premier security line with your boarding area 4 boarding pass. You want the red security line (”Sir, it’s best if you just relax, now please turn your head and cough”). It feels great when the guy in front of you in seating area 19 gets rejected and sent to the shit line.
- The Tunnel connecting Concourses B & C is not something to stare in awe keep fucking moving.
- You should be walking as quickly as your fat ass will allow, especially since you checked your fucking luggage and you have nothing to carry.
- You have no idea how much work I put into selecting the optimum people mover. One fat ass standing on the wrong side and the whole plan goes to shit.
- When the flight is late landing, sometimes the flight attendant will ask those with out connections to remain seated. What she really means is those without status and without connections should stay seated. I did not fly 100 segments on that fucking Commuter Jet last year to keep sitting in it any longer than absolutely necessary. You should have thought about the fact that you would have to connect when you moved to Scranton in the first place, Get the fuck out of my way or pour me another Dewar’s on the rocks!
