Getting Drunk in First Class

Like any good TD consultant, I always have my goods hanging out for the world to see. No, I’m not talking about my Johnson, I’m talking about my rez’. Every head hunter in town has got a copy of my resume and is whoring it out to the next highest bidder.
When I sat down and [...]

8:45 AM -Nudge hot Analyst # 1 and send her back to her room
9 AM – Roll out of bed (suite, high floor, extra feather pillows, WSJ) ($900 -week)
9:30AM - Head to the Elite Lounge for complimentary TD breakfast; complete with Grey Goose Bloody Mary to wash down the martinis from the bar the night before.
10 AM [...]

It’s hard being a total dickhead consultant, what with all the hopping around the globe in first class lie flats, constantly eating $150 a plate dinners, staying in 4-star hotels in all the world’s major cities and reveling in the fact that you’re never paying a penny for it. It is also tough to be [...]

Any dick needs a top 10 list of reminders for the firm’s office holiday party.
So what is the standard code of conduct at these things? Heeeere we go:
1. Always double-fist. Why? Two reasons. One, so you can always have an extra drink for that hot ass analyst you spotted on the way in arm-locked to [...]