Getting Drunk in First Class has been running for over a year now. Granted, we’ve been getting drunk in first class for far longer than that but as with any sort of anniversary, its important to do a little reflecting and see what has happened in the past year.
On that note, we’ve rounded up the top 7, most outrageous and hilarious posts of the year. Sure, we’ve had some doozies alright and probably even a few bombs (after all, there are some things that are so outrageous or poorly written that it just isn’t very funny anymore). Why 7, you ask? As consultants, we’ve determined that 7 is an optimal number based on several studies we’ve conducted.
And here they are along with a notable quotation:
7. On Fat Chicks & Large Organizations
“Empirical evidence suggests that the shape of such an organization is strikingly familar to that of a fat chick.”
“Sure, you have to be a TD but occasionally you have to say something that at least sounds smart like a good consultant would do. Just pretend and it’ll all flow nicely.”
“On a side note, you’re a pro-TD if you can push newly purchased cars through the expense system. Pushing your new home through the system is only for the truly daring. It’s like climbing Mt. Everest: Leave it to the professionals.”
4. The Art of Seagull Management
“Essentially, the dickhead partner or principal has ’swooped’ in, taken a shit, and flown off again, only to return the next time and crap once again. Rinse. Repeat. Henceforth, we have seagull management. Beautiful, isn’t it?”
“Better yet, put that new hire email that conveniently contains pictures of all recent employees to use and staff your entire project on vanity alone. You figure that if these turds got an offer from the firm, they can’t be complete retards, so you might as well staff as many hot chicks as possible so you have a tight ass to console you whenever you feel like quitting the firm to do something really worthwhile.”
2. The Corporate Rental Car: An Official Guide
“Drift off like you’re at a client meeting. Nothing beats letting out pent-up aggression like Figure 8s in the client parking lot after 8PM. Just make sure that if there are security cameras, they catch you giving them the bird.”
annnnnnddddd…. The number one post with much fanfare (but not nearly enough comments!)
“So along with some friends, I head out of the hotel and hop into my limousine and properly get myself to the docks where my Catamaran is ready to push off. Now this is how partners do their research, on their Catamaran sailing quietly in the solitude of the Persian Gulf.”