Getting Drunk in First Class

June 9, 2007

Dear Clients of GDiFC.com:

Hey, those shoes are quite sharp, do you mind if I ask where you found them?

It has come to our attention that you may be pushing back on recent cyclic production output patterns and/or rightsizing efforts experienced on GDiFC. As Jack teaches, let us be candid: the authors were experiencing a little Chicken and the Egg Syndrome. We know you’re simply trying to shoot some cotton balls over the bow, but in our experience, growing intellectual capital to increase humorspace mindshare is more of an art than a science. We are not, however, inoculated to your socializing.

No one here wants to boil the ocean just to deliver value. Some stakeholders such as yourselves have been good enough to liaise with us to enable a more collaborative content fabrication apparatus. If there is anything to treasure in this life, it is selling you back the things you freely gave us.

George from Salt Lake City sent in three photos of a V-BIT, exhibiting all three classical V-BIT behaviors.

Kristin reminded us of an old classic, the KPMG Anthem.  This is real, they paid money for this.

KPMG Anthem (.mp3)

KPMG, we’re strong as can be
A dream of power and energy
We go for the gold
Together we hold
onto our vision of global strategy.

We create, we innovate
We pass the ones that are la-a-ate.
A global team, this is our dream of success that we create.
We’ll be number one, with effort and fun
Together each of us will run
for gold
that shines like the sun in our eyes

The time is now to lead the way
We share the same idea that may win by the end of the day
Our strength is here to stay
Identity, one energy, one strategy, with sympathy
These are the words that will lead us into our new world.>

Joe Smith Rocks sent in his real performance review for us to emote against. We will get around to it as time permits, BAU for performance reviews in consulting, Joe. Joe, where is that god damn Pareto I asked you for an hour ago?

TK from the Netherlands submitted some material for reuse. This report reminded us quite frighteningly of the crap “research” PWC puts out.  No need to read the entire thing, but it may be entirely possible to slip one of its paragraphs into your real client deliverables unnoticed.  Good filler/fluff.
Mega-Analysis of Redisorganization Theories

Ted (what an unfortunate real name) also submitted another travel narrative about the fervid joy that can only be had by traveling near the overweight.
http://forum.bodybuilding.com/archive/index.php?t-2034071.html

Larry passed us why you should not date coworkers.
How BCG breaks up with you (PPT)

Editorial note: Continue to send us knowledge to manage so we may benefit from selling you what you already know, and may our invoices forever sear a dark contempt in your soul, Amen.