Getting Drunk in First Class

• Everyone In the West Wing will have to work until 9PM every night so taxpayers feel they are getting their money’s worth
• He will have walked every congress member through the “State of the Union” address prior to presenting it In order to gain consensus and avoid any political land mines
• The US Budget will be delivered as one large spreadsheet full of pivot tables
• All official White communications will be done in PowerPoint
• White House meal budget will increase six fold
• Cabinet members will need to have a hypothesis prior to engaging in any official business
• The new administration’s White House staff will be recruited at the Top 10 business schools
• The President’s salary will be done through a SOW
• The US will have the greatest strategy, but none of it will ever happen
• Bain’s public sector business grows 100X, get spun off, and goes public as one of the fastest growing companies ever
• He will start planning reelection immediately as a means of “follow-on work”

(This was submitted by a guest author who we shall call “Chris”)