Getting Drunk in First Class

The message comes through on my Blackberry. One of the associates working for our largest client confirms a looming rumor: starting next quarter, all “contracted employees” will be drug tested. I sniffle; a tear falls; I blow my nose and shrug.
But once I realize the scope implied by term “contracted employees,” I suddenly become nervous. [...]

“Do you mind if I stand on your desk?” I didn’t listen for the response.
It’s been one hell of a month. My new client, John, was helpful and full of data. In our fact-finding sessions he didn’t respond with the usual feigned concern and oft-repeated “I really have no idea,” that comes [...]

By A. Client
One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach
with the Partner.
Many scenes from my project flashed across the sky.
In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand.
Sometimes there were two sets of footprints,
other times there were one set of footprints.
This bothered me because I noticed
that during the crunch times of my project,
when [...]

Consultants are truly in love with their own bullshit, but there’s only one thing they love more: spewing all of this bullshit into a PowerPoint presentation, also known as a “Deck”, to share with their blind-sided clients. Given the common belief that a deck’s value is proportional to its size, the euphemism was almost certainly [...]

Some of the worst words that a consultant can hear come out of a staffing managers mouth is, “you’re staffed in-town!” Staffing manager’s think this is a godsend because at night they go home to their kids in the suburbs. Their idea of a good weekend is taking their kids out to Chili’s and ordering [...]

8:45 AM -Nudge hot Analyst # 1 and send her back to her room
9 AM – Roll out of bed (suite, high floor, extra feather pillows, WSJ) ($900 -week)
9:30AM - Head to the Elite Lounge for complimentary TD breakfast; complete with Grey Goose Bloody Mary to wash down the martinis from the bar the night before.
10 AM [...]

You know ‘em… and you hate ‘em. TDs hate ‘em too. Though occasionally we don’t hate ‘em as much on United because of the few routes where they fly ex-Plus. Now, the first class seats in ex-Plus are kind of like a watered down domestic first class experience (not to mention the fact that domestic [...]

If you haven’t seen it already; this is a classic depiction of how a project usually works for consultants.

Put yourself in the shoes of a senior manager that led a project that I was recently on. You’re a high flier in the company, your claim to fame being that you were promoted twice in one year. The partners and directors leading the project are taking a back seat, allowing you to be the [...]

A consultant’s worst nightmare - canceling their first class ticket to some exotic babe-filled tropical location to drudge away the weekend getting that unmistakable CRT-screen tan. Luckily, your friends at GDiFC have come up with a plan to make the most of your unexpected weekend away from home:

Train your mind and your company’s corporate [...]