Getting Drunk in First Class

A few brash, young, Type A consultants (are there any other kind?) sent us a few of their receipts and I’d like to share a couple that we’ve received thus far. We generally reply to any editor submission we receive since billing 60+ client hours per week cannot practically be 60+ actual hours of work [...]

Seems we’re on a roll with guest contributions. After all, re-using the same shit over and over is at the core of consulting, so why not put on our 3-piece suits and show our true colors (yes, blue, black, or gray). One day, I’ll probably wear a double-breasted suit so I can re-live the 80’s [...]

Dear Generic Metropolitan Taxi Driver,
I know that your brown skin entitles you to make fun of white-collar assholes such as myself but it’s really people like you that force me to call my private car service more often. I honestly don’t want to do that since I do want to support the “little guy.” Sure, [...]

I remember when I first started in consulting. My Firm was a large firm, very prestigious, and all of us were together in our ’start group’ with sparkles in our eyes, and our Type A engines all fired up. We thought we were the shit and that we were gonna be telling helpless, desperate executives [...]

FACT: When a Ted jet lifts off, the runway has an orgasm thinking about all those passengers simultaneously getting fucked.
I flew Ted recently. With no first class section, Ted is a sorry joke, a sort of place where former Southwest cult members find gainful employment if they lose their spirit to live.  It is a known quirk [...]

I’ve pissed away endless hours in every airline lounge you can think of, slamming down more booze than a thrice-divorced Managing Partner, waiting for delayed flights and hoping my return flight home doesn’t get canceled. I’ve learned that it doesn’t matter your airline status, number of butt-in-seat (BIS) miles you’ve flown, or the particular airline. [...]

Remember the good ol’ days of air travel when everybody got to be a TD?

Sure, it’s not lie-flat first class seating but having a friendship lounge in economy class beats most lounge options available on today’s airlines, assuming they have a lounge! Deregulation really screwed things up for us TDs wouldn’t you say?
Today you’re lucky [...]

Looks like one of our friends was subtly objecting to flying on a regional jet with the seatbelt sign on by taking a piss in the airline’s barf bag.
SkyWest Airlines apologized to a passenger who said he wasn’t allowed to use the restroom during a one-hour flight and ended up urinating in an air-sickness bag.
When [...]

Dear Vacation-Bound Infrequent Traveler,
 
From the moment I saw you fumbling your way through the metal detector three times back in security (it was I who preemptively yelled “MALE ASSIST”), I prayed we would not be on the same aircraft.  But thank you for sitting next to me and reaching out to be my new “flight [...]

After my last trip to Dubai, I really thought I had out-done myself. I literally walked away from the client site and my team on the ground unscathed and managed to have all the fresh ocean breezes flow through my hair sailing mystfully out into the Persian Gulf. All I really needed was my world [...]