Getting Drunk in First Class

If there’s one thing that pisses me off being a TD management consultant, it’s being stuck with a god damn team that works their ass off; the type of team that doesn’t appreciate the joys of a 2 hour long, $90 per head sushi lunch. These assholes will fester in their own stench like sardines [...]

Getting Drunk in First Class has been running for over a year now. Granted, we’ve been getting drunk in first class for far longer than that but as with any sort of anniversary, its important to do a little reflecting and see what has happened in the past year.
On that note, we’ve rounded up the [...]

8:45 AM -Nudge hot Analyst # 1 and send her back to her room
9 AM – Roll out of bed (suite, high floor, extra feather pillows, WSJ) ($900 -week)
9:30AM - Head to the Elite Lounge for complimentary TD breakfast; complete with Grey Goose Bloody Mary to wash down the martinis from the bar the night before.
10 AM [...]

Monday Morning Commute
7AM - Driver calls from downstairs
7:40AM - Car arrives at ORD ($50)
7:42AM - Call travel agent to purchase ticket after realizing don’t have one ($600)
7:45AM - Enter 1K/TD security line as amateur travelers are turned away
7:47AM push two amateur travelers out of the way on the people-mover (no status losers)
7:50AM - Overpriced coffee [...]

It’s a Wednesday morning at 8 AM. I’m up and I quickly throw on my suit and get to the client’s offices downtown, red eyes and all. I check on my team, sit in on the status meeting, throw a few crumb cakes around for being late, generally cause a ruckus for the entire team [...]

Preface: No TD worth 2 cents would ever fly Southpest if he has a choice…
There I was, waiting to board the glamorous 737. Amazing the TD that I am, I managed to check-in 5 minutes after the pre-24 hour mark before take-off to secure the all-too-coveted ‘A’ seating area.

Being a TD in other [...]

As a TD, you don’t want to catch yourself spending too much time in the airport unless you have access to the lounges like the Red Carpet Club or the Admiral’s Club. Sitting at airport gates or at bars in the airport just doesn’t cut it. You need to be amongst the peaceful and luxurious.

So [...]

Its bound to happen sooner or later; whether after coming back late from the gym or after being stuck in the office, you decide to break out your Razr phone and order carry-out from the usual Italian joint just to find yourself face to face with some smart-ass punk kid who thinks he is god. [...]

Travel is nothing new for the TD consultant. First-class upgrades, cross-continental day-trips and last-minute full-fare flights; it’s all in a day’s work. But there are some TD travel stories that are so incredible that they simply need to be told. Hence, we give you the first in what we hope will be [...]

Ode to the joys of roll-off parties. Any TD knows there are a number of things to consider when mind-mapping up grandiose thoughts of these wonderful money-is-no-object events:

Large engagements allow for a great many roll-off (and often roll-on) parties. One of the most important aspects of a roll-off party is getting it pre-approved. This is [...]