Getting Drunk in First Class

The message comes through on my Blackberry. One of the associates working for our largest client confirms a looming rumor: starting next quarter, all “contracted employees” will be drug tested. I sniffle; a tear falls; I blow my nose and shrug.
But once I realize the scope implied by term “contracted employees,” I suddenly become nervous. [...]

“Do you mind if I stand on your desk?” I didn’t listen for the response.
It’s been one hell of a month. My new client, John, was helpful and full of data. In our fact-finding sessions he didn’t respond with the usual feigned concern and oft-repeated “I really have no idea,” that comes [...]

We have a guest posting today, with my own observations following. -MensaMember
Semi-Valuable Observations: The Men’s Bathroom
There has been a lot written on how to tell what is going on in an IT shop. Some theories talk about looking at the number of Dilbert cartoons that are posted on the walls of people’s cubicles or [...]

Some of the worst words that a consultant can hear come out of a staffing managers mouth is, “you’re staffed in-town!” Staffing manager’s think this is a godsend because at night they go home to their kids in the suburbs. Their idea of a good weekend is taking their kids out to Chili’s and ordering [...]

I’ve pissed away endless hours in every airline lounge you can think of, slamming down more booze than a thrice-divorced Managing Partner, waiting for delayed flights and hoping my return flight home doesn’t get canceled. I’ve learned that it doesn’t matter your airline status, number of butt-in-seat (BIS) miles you’ve flown, or the particular airline. [...]

I, for one, enjoy blue sky thinking sessions. My clients are frequently mystified by the activity.
Creating a flashy deck is not all that blue sky thinking is about, of course. With my 3 months, 4 days, 5 hours, and 22 minutes of expertise in the women’s hosiery industry, I most certainly make diligent use of [...]

After my last trip to Dubai, I really thought I had out-done myself. I literally walked away from the client site and my team on the ground unscathed and managed to have all the fresh ocean breezes flow through my hair sailing mystfully out into the Persian Gulf. All I really needed was my world [...]

If there’s one thing that pisses me off being a TD management consultant, it’s being stuck with a god damn team that works their ass off; the type of team that doesn’t appreciate the joys of a 2 hour long, $90 per head sushi lunch. These assholes will fester in their own stench like sardines [...]

Getting Drunk in First Class has been running for over a year now. Granted, we’ve been getting drunk in first class for far longer than that but as with any sort of anniversary, its important to do a little reflecting and see what has happened in the past year.
On that note, we’ve rounded up the [...]

8:45 AM -Nudge hot Analyst # 1 and send her back to her room
9 AM – Roll out of bed (suite, high floor, extra feather pillows, WSJ) ($900 -week)
9:30AM - Head to the Elite Lounge for complimentary TD breakfast; complete with Grey Goose Bloody Mary to wash down the martinis from the bar the night before.
10 AM [...]