Getting Drunk in First Class

Dear Vacation-Bound Infrequent Traveler,
 
From the moment I saw you fumbling your way through the metal detector three times back in security (it was I who preemptively yelled “MALE ASSIST”), I prayed we would not be on the same aircraft.  But thank you for sitting next to me and reaching out to be my new “flight [...]

8:45 AM -Nudge hot Analyst # 1 and send her back to her room
9 AM – Roll out of bed (suite, high floor, extra feather pillows, WSJ) ($900 -week)
9:30AM - Head to the Elite Lounge for complimentary TD breakfast; complete with Grey Goose Bloody Mary to wash down the martinis from the bar the night before.
10 AM [...]

You know ‘em… and you hate ‘em. TDs hate ‘em too. Though occasionally we don’t hate ‘em as much on United because of the few routes where they fly ex-Plus. Now, the first class seats in ex-Plus are kind of like a watered down domestic first class experience (not to mention the fact that domestic [...]

Ode to the joys of roll-off parties. Any TD knows there are a number of things to consider when mind-mapping up grandiose thoughts of these wonderful money-is-no-object events:

Large engagements allow for a great many roll-off (and often roll-on) parties. One of the most important aspects of a roll-off party is getting it pre-approved. This is [...]

As is almost self-evident by now, it is clear that I am the biggest dickhead on this blog (I mean, really, the name says it all). So, after flying home the other night, I of course was in first class being a dickhead (as usual). As expected, I was getting quite tossed in my cushy [...]

Few trips are as audacious as international alternative travel, or “alternational travel”. Witness, two days in London, part one.
It all starts with good timing: spotting the sale fare and padding the weekend with one vacation day. Pack light; nothing screams importance like minimal luggage. Find the empty row on your red-eye and [...]