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Acronyms

Published on March 8, 2006 by allamericandouche

CILF (Consultant I’d Like To Fuck) - This is a an attractive consultant that you would like to have sex with.

TD (Total Dick) - The ideal management consultant. One that wears top-notch dress clothes, flies first class, rents the nicest cars from Hertz, and racks up at least $5,000 a week in expenses.

VBIT (Vacation Bound Infrequent Traveler) - This is the bumbling idiot in the seat next to you that doesn’t understand why his fucking overhead bag will simply not fit, talks your ear off since you’re ‘his neighbor’ and has fat rolls that even Krispy Kreme couldn’t be responsible for piling over into your seat. Avoid these people like the plague.



15 Responses to “Acronyms”

  1. Barnery Says:


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    (FNG) F*cking New Guy: refers to a new consultant either fresh out of school or from a subcontracting firm that has finally moved up the big leagues.

    (PURE) Previously Unrecognized Recruiting Error: refers to someone who passed through the recruiting process that should not have.

  2. Anonymous Says:


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    WTF - you figure it out, but seems to be needed often….

  3. Diggler Says:


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    CLM (Career Limiting Move)

    GSBI (Good-Sounding Bad Idea): An idea that sounds exciting or plausible, but upon further thought or execution is revealed to be astoundingly dumb and/or dangerous

    MSU (Make Shit Up)

    NFW (No F*cking Way): Also known as “Needs Further Work” when the client sees it written on your proposal

    POCFU (Principle Of Countervailing F*ck-Ups): In a big, complex deal the misses offset the opportunities

  4. Kruse Says:


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    (TLA) Three Letter Acronym

  5. Value Adder Says:


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    MLAs - Multiple Letter Acronyms
    FUBAR - Fucked Up Beyond All Recognition
    ORE - Obvious Recruiting Error

  6. Anonymous Says:


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    WAG - Wild Ass Guess
    SWAG - Super Wild Ass Guess

  7. Anonymous Says:


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    AFU - All F*cked Up
    CF - Cluster F*ck

  8. Anonymous Says:


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    NVA (No Value Add) - See FNG, PURE, ORE, and occasionally a TD that can’t even help compile the bullshit. Also known as the Air Thief.

  9. McBainCG Says:


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    WAGNER (Wild Ass Guess Not Easily Refutable) - When data to make a swanky chart is just not available then just make some shit up and cite WAGNER as the source.

    Usage: Source: WAGNER

    PADOMA (Pulled Directly Out Of My Ass) - A methodology or a framework that start consultants have the ability of generating on the spot, like an unstoppable fart it just comes out when the time is right.

    Usage: Lets use the PADOMA framework and bucket the customers into 4 segments just to look different

  10. Joe Wang Says:


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    BSD - Big Swingin’ Dick.

    Usage: Joe made partner. Looks like he’s the BSD (big swingin’ dick) on the block

  11. H. Ger Says:


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    PIOYA - Pulling It Out of Your Ass - A common consultant tactic when trying to convince a client that your position is not totally horseshit.

  12. H. Ger Says:


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    YGBSM - You Gotta Be Shitting Me - A common reaction to a Project Manager’s outrageous request.

    WTF - What the F*ck? - A common phrase when one does not believe an outrageous statement.

    WTF? He did not just say that? Oh, YGBSM.

  13. matthew Says:


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    What is 2×2? I have read this several times and don’t know the meaning (assuming it doesn’t have reference to Noah and the Ark)

  14. Value Adder Says:


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    ID 10 T
    If you can’t figure it out..you are one.

  15. mensamember Says:


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    A 2×2 is a rental car that is half as powerful as a 4×4.

    And if you believe that you are in the lower left quadrant. Gartner is being tongue-in-cheek when they call you a “Challenger.”